Well, I just finished round 2 of revisions on FictionPress. I cut the temple meal/kitchen stuff out of chapter 1, and added a more fluid intro transition to the beginning. Then I made severe cuts to chapters 2 and 3, and combined them into one chapter entitled “Friendship.” This means that all the chapters are shifted up a number. I shifted around a little of the narrated info from the end of the old chapter 3, splitting it up between the end of the new chapter two (“Friendship”) and the beginning of the new chapter 3 (“Status”).
Another smaller revision I have been working on is making sure that the characters’ thoughts are the only thing in italics. Previously I used italics to emphasize words in the narration as well (for inflection). But with so many important character thoughts interspersed throughout chapters, it may be difficult at times to tell whether a word in italics is meant to be a thought or an emphasis. So as I look for typos and format dividers, I have been going through and changing emphasized words from italics to underlines to decrease confusion. So far I have gotten up through chapter 8 (“Blood & Women”).
The next step is to look for paragraphs of narration that I can take out due to redundancy or implications.
In other news, I HAVE started in on writing volume 2. Three pages in, and I’ve already got Labriella chucking her dress at Rome, and Rome pinning her to a tree. Yikes! O.o