I’ve decided it is impossible to lower the rating of the first volume of the story. I’m saying this, because if I combine the two volumes into a new volume 1, then the lavender-eyed noble’s summer party will be in volume 1, and…well, that’s just sexual tension waiting to happen. Talk about a twist on “Beauty and the Beast”… Anyway, yeah, has to have a higher rating.
The volume 2 limey-ness will be staying, in case you were wondering; it’ll just be reordered. It’s the volume 1 limey-ness that is in question, because of toning down Bre and keeping her from becoming a lady of the evening. Rearrangements are in order, I think. I’m striving to keep the psychology while rewriting the chapters–a little bit of a challenge.
So, what have I been up to?
I’ve been going back through volume 1, editing as I go. I put some of the descriptions back into the first two chapters, namely the section where the temple errand boy (reintroduced in ch4 of vol2) is first introduced.
I’m honing in on Pandora for a bit, fine-tuning her separate interactions with Rome and Labriella. Today I rewrote the scene where Pandora meets Rome in the wood after Labriella is forbidden from seeing him.
I have already edited the scene where Labriella says goodbye to Rome for the first time. I will be sweeping back over the near-rape scene, though I don’t expect to do much there other than maybe add in some of Rome’s thoughts. I’ve already edited their journey to the hot spring.
The next major revision will be the house-cleaning scene–namely, demolishing it. There is no reason for all that house cleaning to be in one place without interruption. Rome licking Bre’s hands was an interruption, as was Rome learning about her menstrual cycle, but these things were still within the house. I think I’m going to take Rome outside of the house, follow him on his trips to the forest.
The main revision kind of attached to that (which I am working up to) is when Rome first sets foot in the village. It seems OOC to me to have Rome seeking advice when he is so determined to be away from civilization. So he’s not going to. Need of supplies should do nicely as a reason…especially if Bre is the one asking. 😉
So, though I have not updated, I have not been idle. It’s just taking a long time until you actually see the fruit of my labor.