Rome-Pandora Rewrites

I rewrote the first near-rape scene today. It was important, because it was Rome’s second encounter with Pandora. The most notable difference in the rewrites of both of Rome’s initial encounters with Pandora, is more disgust than outright hostility on Rome’s part. The other reason the scene is important, is because it is Rome’s first exposure to a partially-nude Bre, and the first time you really see that Rome has some rather unbrotherly sentiments toward Bre which may be a potential emotional red flag.

I have rewritten up to the hot spring. Rome is all business, but he isn’t as volatile about what just happened–largely because he hasn’t yet had a chance to sort out the emotions that this whole event has brought to the surface.

The next step will be coming to Rome’s house. I have actually already rewritten up to Bre going to bed after they get there. No midnight cleaning! The girl has been through enough for one night. Deal with cleaning and a legitimate place to sleep on the morrow. And not the kind of cleaning where you hear every monotonous detail. I think I can do a bit better than that… I want to make it more about Rome and Bre learning how to live together under one roof, when they’re so different and there’s something in the air between them, more than exploring the house. The details of Rome’s house will come with time, out of necessity; no need to rush it.

None of this is posted yet. I’m doing chunks at a time, sometimes going back and changing a little bit of something I did the day before. Flow-tweaking. Maybe that’s what I’ll do tonight though: post the edited versions of the first few chapters. Of course, you won’t get any notifications about it. I’ll leave off changing the spelling of Rome’s name until I start deleting things.

Just for your general information, I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about my story on MediaMiner yet. I may just leave it there as-is, so you can go read the old version if you want to, and change the posting on FictionPress to the rewrite as I go. That’s the most likely scenario.

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