One of the things I noticed about Labriella, is that she does not comment much on Rome’s change of appearance. In fact, she seems to just kind of write over it (so to speak), just accepting the changes as they come. I don’t think this is very realistic. She’s not particularly gullible, so there’s no reason she should accept major changes like that at face value. Rome jumping out of a second-story window, Rome suddenly having blonde hair and glow-in-the-dark yellow eyes, Pandora trying to get her gang-raped–these things should have a more profound effect on Labriella. They could present an interesting dynamic in the relationship. Because, if you really think about it, meeting such a person-beast would be terrifying. It’s hard to observe niceties, when you feel like every time you look into your ex-best friend’s eyes you’re staring death in the face.
That, and Labriella is nearly raped in chapter 5, yet she just seems to conveniently forget about it. Um, no. That’s not the kind of thing a girl forgets easily. How can she have a nightmare on her first visit to Rome’s house, yet not have one the night after she’s almost raped? You can write off the first night as exhaustion, but eventually it’s got to get to her. I’m working on that right now–something along the lines of Labriella choosing the less scary option. *vague hints*
In the meantime, I’m posting the rewrites of chapters 6-7 today. Chapter 6 is “Unlikely Savior,” and chapter 7 is “Day One.” Again, this is on volume 1. I’m having trouble distinguishing whether to delete the old chapters after those now, or to wait until I post chapter 8. I know some of you like to reread what I’ve posted so far while I’m working on new chapters, so I’ve been leaving the old chapters up as long as possible, but I can’t hold off much longer; the discrepancy gap is getting wider.
Chapter 8 will have to be posted as a new chapter (not an edit) no matter how I look at it, which should throw “Answers” out of sync, and…oh, well, it all changes from there. “Blood and Women” will remain largely the same, though perhaps divided up, and maybe not so extensive of a perspective shift where conversation is concerned. At this point, it’s becoming more like Beauty and the Beast and less like a sexual tension story. I want to try and develop sexual tension later, after they get to the “we’re okay living together” stage. Right now, the “okay living together” stage is what I’m trying to rearrange the house section to orchestrate. More emotional connections to come.