Story Pivot Point: Where Old & New Diverge

Well the good news is I just figured out how to get where I’m going! The bad news is I have to rewrite a chapter and create another one to get there. :-/ But I suppose with an effective outline, I shouldn’t be too unhappy! It’s just a bear trying to catch up to where I already reached, reordering things and saving kiss scenes for later.

I have arrived at the split in my writing, where the old and new versions pare off. It’s the turning point of the story, no matter which version you’re reading: When Rome gets back from talking to the lady of the evening, and tells Labriella to leave, can he really let her walk out a third time? In the initial version, the answer was “Yes, yes he can,” and thus began an endless tug-of-war cycle in their relationship. But what if he can’t, even if he doesn’t understand why it’s so difficult for him? Or what if Labriella can see that leaving is a bad decision, and decides to stand up to him like when she came to visit? Or what if she tells him she has nowhere to go—that her chances with the temple are shot? Communication, my dear readers. In this case, the tiniest sliver of communication between Rome and Labriella would go a long, long way—such a long way, in fact, that it could spare both of the characters a heck of a lot of pain, and reasonably draw them together rather than apart. To heal the breach, or to make it larger? That is the question.

Don’t get me wrong: Rome won’t be a pushover, regardless of what happens; it’s just not in his character. And the already-existing kiss scenes aren’t getting thrown away, just postponed. The challenge is creating meetings between Gian and Labriella if Labriella is not a lady of the evening. But maybe they don’t need to have that many meetings, if what I have planned works out. You’re all going to want to throw things at Rome, as you did in the “Ice Bastard” chapter, but hey, he has that effect on people. 😛

Sneak peak to the re-ordering:

  • Labriella fails to leave {pivotal}
  • Rome tries to get drunk (and fails)
  • the prostitute broaches the subject of Rome’s appearance
  • clothes shopping, food shopping, Kit?
  • Rome and Gian’s business deal
  • Rome meets Frane
  • turquoise-eyed noble (revised kiss contest/claim scene)

There, how’s that?

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