Alterations to Chapter 16

Whelp, I changed some of chapter 16. Mostly it has to do with tone, so my summary last entry remains the same. But you’ll thank me for the changes, trust me. No more circles! That’s my goal. It’s already all typed up, so now it’s just a matter of proofreading for stray parts.

The great debate for me at this point is how much kissing/etc. to bring into volume 1. It could get heated fairly quickly, but there are a few other things I want to do, so I’m not yet sure how they figure into each other. If I went with my original plan, Rome would drive you all crazy, because he would stay at the brink but not go all the way, because of his mixed feelings—concern for Labriella, and growing terror of himself with regards to her. I feel like I’ve lost some of the energy of the original volume 1, yet the emotional progression is much more believable. Somehow, I’ve got to bridge the gap, and weld those two together. Chapter 16 is certainly helping to close the breach, but I guess I’m going to have to get a little steamier. I’m just being careful, because of Gian’s wedding, and because of the lavender-eyed noble’s seasonal party. I guess I could just pull full-speed ahead, and forget the chronology, but I don’t want to ditch so much of what I’ve already written.

My other option, of course, in doing all of this, was to simply attach the chapters 1-10 revisions to the old volume 1, add in some emotionally progressive details here and there, and call it a volume. I admit this option is still on the table. I just don’t like the loss of Labriella’s naïveté, and I was a bit unsure of Labriella and Rome’s kiss in the old volume when Labriella was doing Rome’s hair (seriously, how would he know how to kiss?).

But those of you who have reviewed the revised chapters (after having read the old chapters) seem to like the revisions better. So then, maybe I should just slow down my background plot timeline, and focus on developing Rome and Labriella’s relationship?

Hmmm…Sounds like it’s time to go outline again.

Regardless, I think I’ll be posting chapter 16 today.


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