Happy NaNoWriMo, everyone!
As I mentioned on my FictionPress profile, and in my last post, I have been revising chapter 8. I actually started in chapter 7, reforming Rome’s view of the party. If all he sees when he looks around is captivity, then there’s no reason to tell how beautiful the party is. That’s better related by Labriella’s wide-eyed wonder.
So far, I have rewritten the scene in chapter 8 where Rome confronts Labriella about her interactions with Suh Frane. This sounds like a simple matter, but it was not. I wanted to tie in the end of chapter 6, which is where Labriella gives Rome a taste of his own medicine. The trouble was that following Frane’s re-entrance in chapter 7, Rome made accusations toward Labriella that were largely uncalled for. In order to address the incomplete ending of chapter 6, I had to restructure Rome’s entire argumentative premise to be more emotionally focused and more factually relevant.
Last night I finished rewriting part of the kissing contest. Rome’s kiss simply did not fit with the emotions he was feeling during the contest. And, from Labriella’s perspective, the kiss scene with Rome needed less physical comparison and more emotion.
The next step is the contest aftermath. I am going to completely redo this scene. I wrote it twice, and each time erupted in a lime. I hate to say it, but that just doesn’t fit there. It’ll get closer to that at the end of the next party day (which is already written, by the way). But, based on past reactions, Rome should be more temperamental after watching Labriella get kissed by two different guys. That kind of thing typically makes him turn into a rage monster, not a tender affection sort of guy. So what changed? Nothing…unless he isn’t sure how Labriella feels about him anymore. But my rewrite of his part in the kissing contest should ensure that charged emotion is still there. Sounds more like “duke out feelings” time to me. Could I end that in a lime? You betcha. But would that be most conducive to the story’s long-term development? Eh, probably not.
Remember that when I post this revised chapter, it will simply replace the already-posted chapter without notifying you. I will notify you here though, and on my FictionPress profile.